an undesired manicure

well, it’s official. two of the adjacent properties to ours are now vacant. and being flipped, apparently, as the sounds of renovation have become a daily occurrence. the house just behind us went first, which i can’t say upset me much, since the tenants were hoarders and unwitting beekeepers, apparently. (wild bees were building a hive on the back corner of their house and drifting over to drink out of my potted plants.)

the emptying of the second house has had a more notable effect on me, however. our backyard is home to a glorious old cork oak that shades not only our yard, but those of the rear adjacent homes. and well, part of its glorious charm was that it was a little unkempt and massive. a portion of the renovation in house number two has included the pruning back of our well-meaning giant into a more respectable volume. it breaks my heart a little to see the light breaking through above the fence, since it means that the very busy street now features more prominently in our backyard view. plus, my little haven there in that back corner where our hammock hangs is a little less welcoming with all that horrible, wholesome sunshine.

i can’t help it. it bums me out.

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am i allowed to blog on the weekends?

well, yes, i guess…as long as the toddler permits it. this morning should do fine, as i am up FAR earlier than i typically am, and she is nestled in her bed. (feet to the pillow, i might add…just one of her nightly migrational habits that make us fear the implications of transitioning her to a big-girl bed.)

i can explain my early rising by telling you that i have so much going on in my head these days, that i am amazed i get to sleep at all without a shot of horse tranquilizer to my haunches every night. shall i try to list them for you? most tangible and nearest in the horizon first:

1. craft fair preparation. i was accepted to my first ‘real’ holiday craft boutique a couple of weeks ago. (there were more applicants than spaces, mind you, so i feel somewhat accomplished already.) the event takes place on december 8, and, having never tackled something of this dimension, i am finding myself a little adrift. it does not help in the slightest that i am a perfectionist, and have such delusions of grandeur that i picture in my mind the following scenario: upon seeing the glory of my setup and branding prowess, no one will believe that this is my first time doing it. one of the pitfalls of being a perfectionist, at least in my case, is that i also tend to procrastinate. which is, i suppose, a blog topic all its own.

2. domesticity. i struggle with it. and every time i square up to tackle it, i end up a little overwhelmed. being a planner is not something that comes easy to me. see number 1.

3. motherhood. i have a toddler. i could stop there, and a whole multitude of women would bow their heads in solemn solidarity. but i am thinking of having another one. the journey from point a to point b is fraught with a plethora of stumbling blocks. one of which, being my weight. i have been making some solid inroads toward this goal, but it is time to step up my game. i am aware of this. a second, finances. we are pretty much a one income family, though i am trying my darndest to make this jewelry thing a winner. amongst the many others, the most gut-wrenching (quite literally, i can assure you) obstacle to subsequent procreation is the haunting memory of my first pregnancy, in which you watched me become a shell of a person who spit excess saliva into a cup all day long and puked every night. seriously…do you really want to see what happens when you throw a toddler into the mix? i shudder just thinking about it. yet, i can’t seem to help myself. i am twisted like that.

which brings me to the present, wherein i am nursing a cup of coffee in the growing daylight, and trying to sort through some of this madness. time to pour another cup.